2 pillars of a long lasting and enjoyable prayer life

I am about to perform my first wedding in 19 years. When my wife’s brother asked me to perform his wedding I figured that was a good reason to come out of marriage performing retirement. It also happens that this December I will have been married for 20 years. As a matter of fact my brother in law proposed to his fiancée within a few days of what would be 20 years from the day I proposed to his sister. Each step they take reminds me of things we went through when we were getting ready for our wedding.

Which leads me to a lesson on building a great prayer life; because everything leads me to a lesson on prayer. This young couple is learning and building a foundation for a lifetime of marriage. Many things will happen over time. They will become experts in each other. Some of it will simply come from the day after day time spent together. Time with each other will teach them many things.

I think the same is true of our prayer life. The more time you spend with God the better you get to know Him. As with anyone time can help build a foundation with God that can last a lifetime. Some things we learn about God simply through the process of spending time with God in prayer and His word.

[tweetthis]The more time you spend with God the better you get to know Him[/tweetthis]

But as a nerd and personal development junkie my mind began to think about the 10,000 hour rule. Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliners popularized the idea that in order to be world class as something you need to spend 10,000 hours in practice. This connects to what I was saying about the importance of putting in the time in prayer.

But the other side of the coin is a personal development guy like Tim Ferriss, best known for his book: The Four Hour Work Week. He challenges people that a lot of skills can be learned in a short period of time with the right kind of training. He teaches that there are shortcuts that can be learned along the way to help people excel quickly.

Without going all nerd on you and explaining the difference between these two things let me just say that it is a “both/and” kind of situation. You need time and skills for many things. Going back to my wedding example will be helpful. How many marriages have been helped by a conference, book, or mentor couple? These tools accelerate the process of building a solid, loving marriage. At the same time we have all seen the power of a marriage where they have been able to practice their love over time.

Moving back to prayer the connection becomes obvious. There is a reason that I create resources to help people with their prayer life. Helps like these can create shortcuts to an enjoyable prayer life. Also I have met wonderful people who have spent years being with God and I can tell the relationship is great.

So let me encourage you to do both to build your prayer life. Find a mentor, buy a book or go to a conference on prayer. Learn all that you can from those who have gone before you. Second make a commitment to time with God. Make it a priority that you will reap fruit from for years to come.

(Disclaimer 1: I do not pretend to be a marriage performing expert. I am taking lessons from the minister from the Princess Bride.

Disclaimer 2: Buying either of the books mentioned with the link attached will provide a small amount to the ministry)

How to come out from the condemnation about your prayer life (Expanded)

As I travel I find people living with feeling bad about their prayer life. They feel bad because they don’t pray enough. They may have felt like this for years.

The way to find freedom is a simple distinction between condemnation and conviction. Condemnation makes you feel bad and to beat yourself up. Condemnation causes you to think, “I don’t pray like ‘so and so’ does so why even bother trying.” Paul says there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)

Conviction on the other hand should lead us to change future action. When the Holy Spirit convicts us about the nature of our prayer life we should listen for the specific actions He has for us in the future. Conviction should lead you to the prayer life that God is looking from you. You may feel bad for the moment, but long term it leads to freedom.

Another way of looking at this would be from marriage. Suppose a guy is never talking to his wife but spending all of his time talking to other ladies. He should feel bad about this behavior. Conviction would lead him to change his action with some very specific changes. Condemnation may make him feel bad but won’t produce a change until things completely fall apart.

So the place to start is to take your heart before God and really listen. Don’t compare your prayer life to someone else that you know. Maybe before talking to God in prayer about other things you should talk to God about what your prayer life should look like right now. Once you understand what God is calling you to right now you have a place to begin.

Say, for example, after spending some time listening to God you feel like He is calling you to a daily 30 minutes with Him. Maybe you even feel like it is specifically supposed to be your 15 minute commute to and from work. During that next Sunday’s service you hear someone share about praying 1 hour every day. This makes you feel bad. At that point you can rest assured that what you are experiencing is condemnation and not conviction and let it go. God hasn’t yet called you to an hour a day of prayer.

However, now imagine that you are on your way to work and you are listening to talk radio. At this point you remember your commitment to spend that time in prayer. Your challenge then is to respond to the conviction and turn off that radio and spend the time with God. Do you see the difference?

Condemnation leads to a defeated attitude and to cause you to throw up your hands and say, “That is just who I am.” Conviction leads to asking forgiveness and then moving toward the action that God wants for you. The starting point however is listening to what God is calling you to do. Start with the question, “God, what do you have for me to do today?” Then move out of the condemnation and into the life that God has for you.

[tweetthis]What has God called your prayer life to look like? Start there! [/tweetthis]