10 Reasons Why People Don’t Come To Your Prayer Meeting

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Most pastors will tell me that the most important meeting of the church is the prayer meeting. They will also tell me that it is the least attended meeting in their church. I am told that people will come easy to a pot luck but not to a prayer meeting. But the power of a well attended prayer meeting is vital to a church.

I have been amazed at the connection between the size of the Sunday morning service and the size of the prayer meeting. It is consistently 10 percent of the Sunday morning attendance that is at the prayer meeting. An increase in attendance at the prayer meeting seems to increase attend on Sunday morning to get it back to that 10%.

But people don’t seem to like to come to pray meetings. Now I understand that part of that has to do with spiritual warfare. The enemy would love nothing better than to have people come to the prayer meeting.

That however is only part of the story. There are things as leaders that you can do to help the meeting be better attended. Here are 10 ideas why people don’t come to get you started.

1. The prayer meeting is boring.

People are struggling already that prayer is boring. The last thing they need is to come to a prayer meeting and find that also to be true. Creativity is a key to that.

2. The prayer meeting is a gossip session.

It is too easy for prayer requests from the floor to simply become a means to gossip. This behavior needs to be dealt with and taught how to be avoided.

3. No leadership in the meeting.

Some leaders are intimidated because they are not the best prayer person in the room. What the meeting needs is leadership not for the strongest prayer person to be in charge.

4. People are scared they will be called on to pray.

I try to never call on people to pray who I haven’t asked beforehand. It breeds an atmosphere of fear for new people.

5. They fear no end time.

Every prayer meeting should have an end time that is very clear. You can allow people to stay longer if they want, but people fear getting stuck in a meeting that they can’t get out.

6. It doesn’t seem to be a priority of the leadership.

If you are the leader of the group and this is a priority for the church or ministry you must make it a priority yourself. If the time doesn’t work for you don’t make it the main prayer time.

7. Not engaging their whole being.

Sitting or standing for the whole time will cause people to check out. Engaging the head and not the heart is not good, and so is touching the heart but not the head.

8. They fear a meeting with no variety.

If the prayer meeting is exactly the same forever and ever with no life people will not come back.

9. The prayer meeting takes place in the dungeon of the church.

Too often the prayer meeting is held in the most sad or distracting room of the church. Think through where you meet come up with some ideas to switch it up.

10. Long winded prayers without power.

Charles Finney encouraged people in the meeting to pray short prayers with passion. He would only have people pray who he knew would lead people in prayer. Key decisions about a meeting can be who ends up praying.

If you would like to dig deeper on a strategy of building a church that prays I recommend the Prayer Saturated Church by Cheryl Sacks.

 

The introvert and extrovert guide to a prayer life

My wife sent me some videos the other day by Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. It produced some interested thoughts the practicality of our walk with God. Most of you would define yourself as an introvert or extrovert, but we are really somewhere on a spectrum. Wherever you are on that spectrum these next four things can help you enjoy your prayer life.

1. If you are an introvert embrace your enjoyment of time alone with God.

Some people would be surprised to realize that I am more on the introvert side of the spectrum (since I speak around the country and world). But I cherish that time alone just me and God. If you also enjoy your alone time, don’t be afraid to invite Jesus into that time. This is not taking away from your alone time since God is with you anyways. Inviting Him into that sacred place will make the time richer and more enjoyable.

2. If you are an extrovert don’t use that as an excuse to never get alone.

I don’t know where Susan Cain is on her faith journey, but she said something every Christian needs to realize: “Without the wilderness there is no revelation.” She even made reference to the fact that Moses and Jesus went away into the wilderness before engaging in the crowd. If you identify yourself as an extrovert this does not mean you don’t need times alone with God. Our personality does not excuse us from our calling to obedience. In the story of the Good Samaritan he couldn’t say, “I won’t engage that person on the side of the road that is hurting because I am an introvert.”

3. Learn to live with your personality in the prayer meeting.

A great place to see the clash of introverts and extroverts is the prayer meeting. This is especially true when praying together in groups. I have been in prayer meetings when introverts will even come late if they believe there is group prayer near the beginning. Let me encourage my introvert friends to commit to engaging at those times even when it is uncomfortable. Your prayer, even if short, can be crucial to that prayer time. For the extrovert, don’t miss the prayer meeting! As you learn to enjoy the prayer meeting not only will you bring a life and relationship component to the meeting it will bring comfort and confidence to you when you set time to be alone with God.

4. Learn to bring who you are to your time with God.

As you are building your time with God I encourage people to start somewhere. As an extrovert you may want to start focusing on finding a prayer partner. As an introvert you may want to start with stealing moments of quiet with God which will energize you anyway. I wrote a post about emotion and prayer which could be important to check out as you think about this subject, but if you start with your strengths it may help you as you grow in your prayer life.

Whatever your personality engage with God because He loves you and made you and wants to spend time with you!

4 things to do when life feels like it is going to take you out?

Sometimes we have a rough day and we feel like we are about to be knocked down. One more push and we are going to fall over. What do we do in those circumstances? Maybe we feel like King David, who is anointed king and then ends up running for his life in the desert. Even after he become king his own son literally tries to take him out. That is just a bad day. But fortunately his lessons speak to us in the age of text messaging and tweets and chats. He teaches us to:

1. Force ourselves to rest in God.

This seems like church talk but is a very practical way to live. David says, “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.” (Psalms 62:5 NIV) This may mean actually changing the talk that is going on in your head. I sometimes need to cut my own patterns of thinking out at the knees. I don’t think I am too off base to imagine David pacing the castle walls saying to himself, “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone.”

2. Be careful what you trust in during times of difficulty.

When I am in a difficult spot, I am looking for how I can fix the situation. I may be tempted to look for those things that can make me feel confident. David reminds us that even if there are external things that we could put confidence don’t trust them. “…though your riches increase, do not set your heart on them.” (Psalms 62:10 NIV)

3. Tell God how you really feel.

When things get difficult we may want to turn into ourselves. This can quickly become very destructive. I love David’s picture on this, “pour out your heart to him” (Psalms 62:8) Like a glass that is full I must just let it all out before God. He is the place to hide when bad comes to get us.

4. Create a picture of God in your head and heart.

One of the dangers I face when life gets tough is to lose perspective. Whatever I am facing becomes bigger and bigger. Thoughts of God slide out of view. David reminds himself of two things about God that I have gone back to again and again in my life. “One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God are strong, and that you O Lord are loving.” (Psalms 62:11-12) Turn to a God who is both strong and loving in the midst of the things that would knock you down.

One of these things may give you a rope hold onto, but four of them can help you feel like you are standing on solid ground.

(Bonus) 4 Prayer Lessons for “May the 4th Be With You” Day

I know, I know this is my second post today, but I just had to pass along these prayer lessons for today. Have fun:

1. Never forget to pray for the week and needy. You never know when Anakin Skywalker or Jar Jar Binks will play an important role in His story.

2. Pray for discernment in life. You don’t want to end up kissing your sister.

3. Keep praying, “Lord, teach me to pray.” We will always be padawan learners when it comes to prayer. A great learning tool is my book Enjoying Prayer. 🙂

4. Come to Him as a child. “Truly wonderful the mind of a child is.” –Yoda (From StarWars.com)

So go through this day with Jesus and live long and prosper. (Just kidding, I know that is Star Trek.)

Are you missing out by not connecting to God’s network?

I spend a good amount of time connecting with people. We have booths at conventions to introduce the ministry to people who need to learn about it. I am lunches and coffees with pastors and leaders to hear their heart and see how we might work together. Networking can sound sleazy at times, but my attitude is to build a “net” of connections so that together we can do the “work” that God has given us.

But there is a problem. Let me nerd out on you for a moment. Even if I was introduced to a new person every second, 24 hours a day -7 days a week, for the rest of my life I wouldn’t even meet half the people in the world. And what if I need to meet someone in the other half to accomplish the mission God has for my life. That is why my prayer life is so important.

I love the story of Moses after the mountain. God told Moses he could have Aaron as a partner in the ministry of leading the people out of Egypt. But Moses couldn’t get down the mountain and text his brother to come down and visit him. So God went to work. “The Lord said to Aaron, ‘Go into the desert to meet Moses.’” (Ex 4:27) God was connecting them together.

We do our part, but we are also dependent on God to introduce us to the people that we could never meet on our own. Maybe before you go on with the rest of your day ask God to lead you to someone he wants you to “network” with this week!