4 Ways To Find Calm When You Feel Out Of Control (Updated)

Sometimes life feels out of control. You get blindsided by some news at work. A car breaks down at the worse time possible. How do you find calm in the midst of these circumstances? Here are a few thoughts I hope will help.

  1. Understand the power of seasons.

Where I live we understand that seasons change. It is a predictable as the calendar moving ahead. It is also helpful for me, in out of control situations, to zoom back and look broader at the season that I am facing. Maybe what I am feeling is just a season of life that doesn’t last forever. Maybe the season is changing and this circumstance is just a sign of that season change.

2. Understand the power of appreciating time.

My thoughts have gone a lot lately to how short life really is for us. I talk to older people and they speak of how quickly life travels. The Bible refers to our lives being like grass which is here today and gone tomorrow. This can feel like a bad thing sometimes, but it also helps us put in perspective the situations we are facing right now. As tough as it is right now it is only temporary. The youth camp director at the camp I went to as a kid used to say, “You can do anything for a week.” Life is longer than a week but the lesson is the same.

3. Understanding the power of rest.

This may seem like a weird thing to write about when talking about feeling out of control, but hear me out. When I feel out of control I often want to push with the things within my control. This is helpful as it helps me get perspective on what I can and cannot control. While that is good in part I need to balance that with still honoring the calls to rest and Sabbath that God asks of us. For me it cannot always be, “One more phone call” or “Just a little more writing.” In times when it feels out of control honoring the rest anyways reminds me that ultimately God is in control. “Unless the Lord builds the house the laborers build in vain.” (Ps 127:1)

4. Take time to focus on Jesus.

Remember Peter walking on water. The storm of life got to him when he took his eyes off of Jesus. In the storms of life I like to picture the throne room of heaven. God is not sitting there wringing His hands in concern. God is not worried. God does not feel out of control. To take the idea a bit further, it is like finding a star or other fixed point when we are lost. The immovable object becomes the source of our confidence.

What things do you do when you feel out of control?

Confession Time: Missing Moments Along The Way (Updated)

I have a confession to make. I have messed this up often when I was a senior pastor and still slip up today. Where is this area of weakness? I often forget to enjoy the moment. The vision that God has given me burns deep within me and I am very achievement oriented. This is a strength of mine, but our strengths are many times the place where we are vulnerable as well. By seeing clearly the direction I am headed, and having the ability to quickly slip into task mode it is easy to forget to celebrate the victories of today.

When I was a local pastor this struggle was even worse. As the team lay exhausted on the ground after a great event where victories had been won, I was already charging up the next hill. Rather than enjoying the opportunities that the size of our church had at that moment, the vision of the future pushed me on while missing golden opportunities.

I was reminded of this when I had breakfast with Al Jones pastor of New Life Assembly of God in Cokato, MN. This is a growing church of about 100 in size. He shared with enthusiasm how once a month the church would have a fellowship meal (read potluck). They would eat together and spend time together for hours. He shared how they were capitalizing on the fact that they were still small enough to do this and it was a tool for discipleship and deep ministry. Since they were small enough they could just sit around on a Sunday afternoon and ministry could happen. Way to capture and enjoy the moment Al! Rather than just build the next small group program they were enjoying each other’s company and the church was going larger and deeper in the process.

This was a great reminder that although we are to pursue with passion the calling God has given us we must never forget to celebrate, capitalize and mine the opportunities of the moment that God has given us as well. This is true not only for ministry leaders but for life in general.

[tweetthis]We must celebrate, capitalize and mine the opportunities of the moment that God has given us[/tweetthis]

When we are little kids we can’t wait till we get to go to school. When we start school we are anxious to get our license and get into high school. In high school we are tempted to dream about heading off to college. While in college we dream of leaving college and starting our “lives”. And the story goes on till we hear senior citizens talking about how much they missed in life.

Yes, continue to grow. Build your business. Lay down your life to see the kingdom of God expanded in the world. Let’s finish the Great Commission in our lifetime. Let’s see countries excited to pray. But as serve God with passion let us celebrate where we are along the way. Thanks for listening to my confession!

2 Steps To Improving Your Speed of Listening To God (Expanded)

One Sunday evening, after I had spoken at a church in the morning and then led their prayer meeting in the evening, a gentleman came to me to ask a question. He had seen me respond quickly to God’s voice and wanted to know how he could do it as well. The answer I gave him could help you too so I thought I would pass it along.

I basically told him he needed to do two things. First, he needed to walk outside his comfort zone more and make some mistakes. Second, because of the first one he was going to have to walk in a high level of humility. Let me unpack it a little more. I will add an important bonus at the bottom as well.

Make More Mistakes

First, my challenge to him was to try and step out of what was easy in listening to God. I enjoyed reading Joshua Foer’s New York Times Bestseller, Moonwalking with Einstein. It is about memory and the world memory championships and is not a spiritual book (I have embraced the nerd within). But he shared a principle that fits in this situation.

He describes a place in learning that he called the “OK Plateau”.  Basically he says you can get to a place in learning a skill where you feel good enough. You are not making a lot of mistakes. But at that point the only way to get better was to make more mistakes. By going faster, and therefore making more mistakes, you are actually able to learn more.

The same is true of listening to God. It is one thing to hear God when you have spent hours in His presence. It is another thing to listen as you are walking in the middle of a crowded grocery store. But in the stretching is new learning.

Walk in Humility

This leads us to the important second part. We must walk in humility. When I am walking outside of my comfort zone in listening to God I make more mistakes. This means I can’t be arrogant. It requires us to say more things like, “I think the Lord is saying this…I could be wrong…” I may even need to clean up some messes along the way.

Without walking in humility in listening you can produce a lot of damage. Coming at things from a “Thus sayeth the Lord” perspective gives people no out if they are hearing something different or if you make a mistake. We need a lot a grace and mercy for each other as we walk out the adventure of listening to God. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t stretch ourselves (we should) but we just need to walk in humility as we do it.

A bonus thought is the encouragement to increase your reading of God’s word and walking it out. It is a fun place to grow. I recently read the excellent book by Rod Loy called Immediate Obedience. In it he challenges us to listen to God’s word and immediately obey. The book is full of stories of where that adventure took Him. I dare you to read the Word and obey what God tells you to do. Who knows where it will take us?

But if we are willing to make some mistakes and we are willing to walk with humility we can experience more of God. As we listen to the whisper of heaven we enter new zones of spiritual adventure. I want to go there even more. Do you?

[tweetthis]As we listen to the whisper of heaven we enter new zones of spiritual adventure.[/tweetthis]